I Have a Legal Question About Adoption in California?
Question by Debra: I have a legal question about adoption in California?
My attorney has found a birth mother in another state. Basically, this is a completely unwanted pregnancy for her. Her other children are all from the same father, her long time boyfriend, and she can’t wait to be reunited with him and their children. The biological father has married another woman and does not care about having anything to do with either her or the child. That’s fine with her because she is madly in love with the father of her other children.
I’ve paid a lump sum payment to the attorney, and I’m supposed to catch a flight to go be with this mother to help her, but I have a good idea that my time there will only be spent escorting both her and her boyfriend (the father of her other children around town spending money).
Do I have to go? Isn’t there a way that I could help her without flying there to be with her? If I didn’t go, could the attorney find another mother? What would be wrong with paying for a hotel for her using my credit card, and having food sent to her while she is at the hotel? I could then go and be with her when she is having the child in a couple of weeks.
The girl has a history of drug use, and her boyfriend is a bad influence. When I spoke with her on the phone, she clearly is only concerned with getting that baby delivered so she can be out running around with him. I will only be the credit card in the picture.
I don’t want to throw out the baby with the bathwater, even though her family has cut her off completely because of her refusal to leave her boyfriend. She’s not going to change for me or this baby.
What are my rights at this time at this stage of the adoption? If I don’t go, could I lose the money that I sent to the attorney?
Don’t tell me about drug addiction with newborns. All her children were born under the same circumstances and are just fine. I’m willing to take that chance because I already feel an attachment to the child, and she certainly does not!
I am really looking for legal advice, not a bunch of personal opinions about adoption. I want the baby, I just don’t want to be used by the mom and the drug dealing boyfriend.
Best answer:
Answer by parsnipianna
First of all this isn’t about CA law because the state where the child is born has jurisdiction. Second, it’s not about adoption laws; something like “helping out” is part of a private contract between you and the birth mother.
A birth mother can’t give legal consent to give up a baby and you can’t adopt a baby until it is born. At this point it is only a “plan”. So she can change her mind for any reason or no reason at all until she signs consent after the baby is born.
Some of the money you have given to the lawyer is for expenses the birth mother has incurred. Most of it is probably the lawyer’s fee. Because it is illegal to sell a baby, you can’t get your money back because you don’t receive the “product”. You can bet the lawyer’s fees are secure, he’s not giving any of it back. I suppose you could sue the birth mother , but realistically, even after you got a judgment, how would you collect?
You should have a written contract from your lawyer. Make sure you read and understand all of it. Don’t assume you have any “rights” that are not spelled out in the contract. Your lawyer should be willing to answer any questions you have.
Here is an article that might be of interest to you:
http://life.familyeducation.com/adoption/birth-parents/45794.html
Good luck!